Man and Van:How not to Have the Move from Hell
Man and Van:How not to Have the Move from Hell
You know moving is your favorite thing to do, right? You spend your time thinking about the next time you might get to move. You “forget” to pay your rent so you might have to move again. Or you invite bagpipers to practice at your flat and promise them there’s no problem with playing after midnight so you get evicted and you can move again. You spray paint strange messages all the outside of your house and decorate the hedge with elaborate sculptures made from bin bags and carrots so your neighbors make a petition for you to move…again. You secretly impersonate your boss and cancel the lease so you have to find new offices and move AGAIN!
On moving day you wake up with a song in your heart and a twinkle in your eye because it’s moving
day, right? You are so thrilled to be wrangling your four children under five years while you attend to
your move that you invite the neighbors’ kids to come over and join the crowdthe more the merrier.
And lets give them all super soaker squirt guns and tell them the loudest screamer wins ice cream! After
all, dodging screaming, running kids and water everywhere just makes getting the sofa down four flights
of stairs the kind of a challenge any true moving aficionado would relish.
Of course when you realize you totally forgot to pack up one closet, and it just happens to be the closet
you made out of the loft which means you have to have to crate up your entire rocking horse collection
including the the life size replica of Wellington’s horse. But you just smile to yourself because that’s
moving. You never know what a move has in store for you. And when you accidentally fall down the
stairs while you’re trying to ride the life size replica of Wellington’s horse as a rocking horse and it rocks
you right over its head and lands on you as it goes over, well the hospital is a nice break even if
everyone keeps frowning at you as your kids run screaming around reception spraying everyone with
water. Some people just don’t have a sense of humor.
When you get back from the hospital and you’re trying to pack up the eleven cats while the kids are
chasing them with the super soakersagile little things those cats, the two guys from the pub that said
they’d help you move for a couple a quid are trying to move that solid stone table and the cats and kids
run into them and the cats attack you’d think they were bleeding to death. It was only twenty or thirty
okay maybe a hundred deep scratches but only a few of them needed stitches. And what about the
cats? No one is thinking about the poor moggies. Their nerves are shattered. It’s going to take
tranquilizer darts to get them loaded up. Oh well kids will be kids.
And yes you did think the truck rental place was a little dodgy considering it was two blokes with a
desk under a bypass. It wasn’t so much the complete lack of offices that almost put you off , it was the
shady characters that kept visiting and picking up their “prezzies” even though not all of them could be
having a birthday surely? So when all of a sudden a bunch baddies shows up and claims that your truck is actually their truck and they left something in the walls of the truck that they really, really need and
then there’s coppers all over the place, that’s just part of the moving experience even though kids are
really screaming now because the baddies are spraying the cops with the super soakers they took from
the kids. And if the Wellington’s horse rocking horse falls on one of the cops, he should have been more
careful shouldn’t he.
When you get the smugglers, the cops, the kids, the cats and the life size replica of Wellington’s horse
as a rocking horse sorted out, you naturally notice a strange whirring sound and the house starts shaking
and the sky gets dark. Of course your first thought is that it’s The Doctor but when no blue phone box
shows up but a huge, humongous, giant spaceship shaped just exactly like your house hovers over the
house gibbering strange alien language that you’re pretty sure is saying “Pamela where have you been?
You know you you’re the only one for me!”, you’re not surprised when bits of furniture and boxes start
flying up into the sky and disappear into the house spaceship’s (who is apparently named Rodney, at
least that’s what the voices in your head are saying) door or mouth thingy. Really unfortunate about that
life size replica of Wellington’s horse as a rocking horse though which seems to have lodged in the
mouth or door thingy. Naturally it’s a bit of a setback when the enraged Rodney house spaceship tries
to shake loose the life size replica of Wellington’s horse as rocking horse and accidentally crashes into
your house and sets most of the block on fire but everyone knows there’s always some breakage when
you move.
Wait, that isn’t you?
Ah. Well if not it’s time call on Man and Van. They’re professional, economical and save you from the
stress of your move with services like premove planning, online and phone booking, rubbish clearance,
short notice availability, qualified drivers and top quality equipment. With Van and Man YOU don’t lift a finger. And if you don’t want to deal with screaming kids, drug smugglers and alien spaceships can
you really do without Man and Van? Well, what are you waiting for? Call now! That life size replica of
Wellington’s horse as a rocking horse isn’t going to move itself no is it?