Man and Van:How not to Have the Move from Hell You know moving is your favorite thing to do, right? You spend your time thinking about the next time you might get to move. You “forget” to pay your rent so you might have to move again. Or you invite bagpipers to practice at your flat and promise them there’s no problem with playing after midnight so you get evicted and you can move again. You spray paint strange messages all the outside of your house and decorate the hedge with elaborate sculptures made from bin bags and carrots so your neighbors make a petition for you to move…again. You secretly impersonate your boss and cancel the lease so you have to find new offices and move AGAIN! On moving day you wake up with a song in your heart and a twinkle in your eye because it’s moving day, right? You are so thrilled to be wrangling your four children under five years while you attend to your move that you invite the neighbors’ kids to come over and join the crowdthe more the merrier. And lets give them all super soaker squirt guns and tell them the loudest screamer wins ice cream! After all, dodging screaming, running kids and water everywhere just makes getting the sofa down four flights of stairs the kind of a challenge any true moving aficionado would relish. Of course when you realize you totally forgot to pack up one closet, and it just happens to be the closet you made out of the loft which means you have to have to crate up your entire rocking horse collection including the the life size replica of Wellington’s horse. But you just smile to yourself because that’s moving. You never know what a move has in store for you. And when you accidentally fall down the stairs while you’re trying to ride the life size replica of Wellington’s horse as a rocking horse and it rocks you right over its head and lands on you as it goes over, well the hospital is a nice break even if everyone keeps frowning at you as your kids run screaming around reception spraying everyone with water. Some people just don’t have a sense of humor. When you get back from the hospital and you’re trying to pack up the eleven cats while the kids are chasing them with the super soakersagile little things those cats, the two guys from the pub that said they’d help you move for a couple a quid are trying to move that solid stone table and the cats and kids run into them and the cats attack you’d think they were bleeding to death. It was only twenty or thirty okay maybe a hundred deep scratches but only a few of them needed stitches. And what about the cats? No one is thinking about the poor moggies. Their nerves are shattered. It’s going to take tranquilizer darts to get them loaded up. Oh well kids will be kids. And yes you did think the truck rental place was a little dodgy considering it was two blokes with a desk under a bypass. It wasn’t so much the complete lack of offices that almost put you off , it was the shady characters that kept visiting and picking up their “prezzies” even though not all of them could be having a birthday surely? So when all of a sudden a bunch baddies shows up and claims that your truck is actually their truck and …
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